This is a question I often ask myself. I remember the early days of motherhood well, the ones where I barely got off the phone to the midwife ward, constantly checking that what I was doing with my daughter was ok, constantly ringing my mum for advice and reassurance!
I still have days like that. Most days I question my abilities as a mother and lately I've been questioning myself more than usual.
We seem to have hit the terrible twos 2 months early in our house and at the moment it seems to be a case of "a tantrum a day..." which is exhausting as you can imagine. Ava also seems to have developed selective hearing which is also a delight, especially as the only words she will respond to are either "chocolate" or "peppa" which doesn't bode well really. Life is pretty stressful at the moment with work woes and wedding stress, add to that a tantruming toddler and you have a very frazzled mummy!
I often leave for work on the verge of tears having told Ava off for tantrumming because I've turned Curious George off or because she wouldn't let me put her trousers on. I then hate myself for the rest of the day and that wretched mummy guilt descends on me like a giant black cloud. I also have giant guilt trips if I stay in the house with her all day and do housework rather than take her off somewhere exciting or type out a blog post in the morning while I let tele-sitter amuse her for a little while.
Then I feel guilty for not cherishing every single second with my screaming child because they just grown up so quickly! Motherhood is such a complex affair!
But then when I really think about it I realise that my daughter is a very lucky girl indeed. She's surrounded by love. And it doesn't matter if sometimes I put her tshirt on back to front or shout. Because she's the apple of my eye and I do anything for that cheeky face. And that's all that matters really.