Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Hello mummy-guilt, you again.

Before becoming a mum I obviously knew nothing of this thing called "mummy-guilt". But it is, in fact, one of the worst feelings ever!

From not allowing Ava to wear three pairs of socks in the morning to shouting at her because she's ignored me, again. I feel mummy-guilt almost every day. I feel guilty about not taking her out to play enough, not sitting on the floor and playing with her enough, not crafting with her enough...the list is literally endless. I even felt guilty when she woke me up 4 times on Sunday night and when I asked her if she wanted some milk she said yes. She was hungry. Bad, bad mother!

I'm feeling a crippling sense of guilt this week, I'm going down my mum's this weekend, alone! Alone for the first time, without my shadow, in two years (ish)! Obviously she'll be with Nathan and they'll have a whale of a time without naggy mummy and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't secretly fantasising about the 2 (yes TWO!) lie ins I'll be getting and blaring Ultra Naté's "Free" from my car speakers, but part of me feels like I'm abandoning her, silly I know.

In September we'll be leaving her for a whole week whilst we go on our honeymoon to Crete. She'll be staying with my mum for the first few nights then with Nathan's mum. I know she'll be totally, brilliantly looked after and my mum already has a million things planned but I've already told Nathan I'll be crying all the way to the airport. "I know!" he said.

Does mummy-guilt ever get easier? Or does it just get worse as they get older?

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