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This week has been one of the hardest I've had as a mum. I feel really stupid writing that as Ava's not ill, Nath and I haven't broken up, nothing tragic has happened. It's just been a really tough week.
Nath has been working an awful lot this week, so much so that I've barely seen him myself. When he's been coming in from work I've usually been in bed. I've thought a lot about single mums this week and I really take my hat of to you guys, although I'm often with Ava on my own, this week has been relentless and so exhausting.
Let's talk about the terrible two's for a minute, I honestly thought they didn't exist, that they were something made up by parents to try and excuse their child's naughty behaviour. The problem with Ava is that she's not yet old enough for me to reason with but old enough to really know how to push my buttons and wind me up. I feel like at the moment all I'm doing is telling her no or shouting at her after she's ignored my "no"! I dread having to pop to the shops these days as it's likely that she'll lie on the floor in the middle of M & S and I'll think everyone is giving me that "can't you control your child?!" look.
When I've spent a full day trying to keep her happy, a nice trip out, swimming or softplay and she has a tantrum it honestly makes me feel like crying. I'm often left wondering what I'm doing wrong at the moment, I wonder if she's unhappy and it makes me feel terrible. Especially when I see other mums on Facebook or Twitter saying "Motherhood is the best, my family is so perfect." I've really been questioning my skills as a mum lately and it's left me feeling really deflated. Don't get me wrong, Ava is wonderful and she makes me smile more than she makes me cross but when she is naughty, it's very testing.
I do feel like the worst mother on earth at the moment, especially when I feel like I really need a break, just some "me" time would be nice, the chance to unwind and de-stress. On top of the Ava stress, I have wedding pressure and work issues to deal with too. Argh!
Please tell me I'm not the only mum to feel like this?!
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