This week has seen a pretty big change in our household (no we've STILL not moved into our new house!!) Ava had a stay and play session at her new preschool which is just a few doors up from our new home, where she will start after Easter.
It seemed like the natural thing to do, now that she has turned 3 and she will automatically join the primary school there when the time comes. I'm hoping that when the time comes, the transition from preschool to primary school will be a doddle but this change right now, seems pretty major.
If I'm totally honest with myself I feel sad and a bit anxious. When we turned up for a look around and to meet her new teachers on Wednesday, Ava seemed awfully small compared to the other children. I know that she has only just turned 3 and some of them were 4 but she seemed so little, like an imposter. She wanted me to stay but soon got stuck in and was running around outside with the other children. Her new key worker seems like such a kind lady but part of me still feels anxious. I'm worried that she won't settle or mix in with the other children, I'm worried about her getting knocked about because she's so small or getting upset and me not being there to pick her up as daft as it sounds. Although she'd been at nursery since she was 8 months old, this feels different somehow.
I also feel scared. Scared that she is going to start to lose her innocence, scared that she is not going to need me as much any more. I watched her cling on to my leg and look at me with her big blue eyes as I smiled encouragingly while she played with her snuggy bunny (I wonder how long she will carry that around with her), I wondered how long she would be my baby for, how long will she cling onto my hand before she runs off to join her new found friends. It's really made me realise how fleeting time is and that my baby is growing up.
They really don't stay little for long, I found this poem whilst browsing Pinterest a while ago and it makes me cry every time. It's so true.