Thursday, 23 July 2015

Big life changes- Am I making the right choice?

After writing a post about "stopping blogging" two weeks ago, I seem to inadvertently done just that.

It was unintentional, I promise, life just seems to have taken over, and something pretty huge has happened. I've got myself a new job, a full-time one. And in truth I'm a bit scared!

I've been in my current position for almost 7 years and have been lucky to work part time but it's no secret that I don't enjoy my job. Unfortunately being a stay at home mum isn't an option for me and I believe we spend far too much of our lives at work to be unhappy.

So last Monday a job came up in my town, within walking distance from my house (at the moment I commute which takes me about 40mins a day via car), it's in HR, the sector I want to get into and it seems like a nice place to work. I applied for it and was asked to go in for a interview the very same day. I was offered the job on Tuesday.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty proud of myself. One thing that has happened to me since working in the same place, for all these years, in a job that I don't enjoy, is that my self-esteem and confidence has been quashed. This gave me such a boost to know that they really liked me and wanted me to work for their company. However I hadn't expected to feel as torn as I did. If I wasn't a mother it would be a no brainer but working 9-5, with no more Wednesdays off, not much more money and less holiday seemed like too much to bear but after mulling it over, long chats with Nathan and figuring it all out I've decided to take it.

It's in HR, which is what I want to do, I hope this will get my foot in the door, the salary is reviewed on an annual basis, I'll hopefully get some job satisfaction and will save so much money on petrol and general car wear & tear. There is progression for me in this new role, a real chance for a fresh new start. Somewhere for me to prove myself, not to anyone else but mainly to prove myself that I can do it!

I'm still completely petrified that I'm jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, it means Ava going to pre-school for an extra day but luckily Nath's working hours allow him to be there every afternoon to collect her so she won't have to go into breakfast or after-school club. I know that I would regret not taking this opportunity once she starts school next September. I would have always wondered what could have been and I think that we only regret the chances we didn't take.

Nathan has said that Wednesday can be our family evening, whether we go for a walk, out for dinner or watch a film together. I hope that the time I do spend with Ava will be quality time. Mother's guilt is so hard and I can't help feeling that I'm wasting away precious time with her. I just hope that I'm doing the right thing.

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