Monday, 26 October 2015

A reality check

I am someone who, no matter how hard I try, will always compare myself to others. Be it my blog, my body shape, my mothering skills, even the way my hair looks in a hat. As ridiculous as it is, I just can't seem to help myself.

I know first hand that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and although I love blogging, I really do, it's ignited this insecure flame in me that was never there before. I just cannot seem to stop comparing myself to others.

Today the Tots100 charts scores were released, usually it's not something that holds much weight with me, I just busy myself with my own thing but this time I was intrigued, having not checked it for a few months. Granted I'd taken a little break with my blogging, but lately I've really been putting the effort in, commenting on other blogs, chatting on Twitter, taking part in linkies. My blog views are up by 1,000 this month alone so I was a little excited to see if anything had changed, but no my score had dropped by 28 bringing me to my lowest ever score of 1,899! How could it be?! I'm not ashamed to say that I was a little gutted, like the wind had been taken out of my sails a little and for the first time in a while I've thought wow, this blogging business is hard! There are so many big players out there how on earth does a little fish like me get noticed. How do I get the opportunities like everyone else, when will I catch a break?

But then I realised that everyone has been where I am at some point or another & everyone has their daily struggles. I may look at their Instagram feeds and their blogs and think that these people have it all but no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, look at me, I wrote a blog post about how lovely Ava is at the moment and she was a little witch this evening!

I guess I need to give myself a bit of a reality check, good things come to those who wait and it just means that I need to push and work a little harder. I'll carry on doing what I'm doing, because I do love it, I'll keep admiring the big blogging fish and celebrating their successes as usual, I'll just try not to take much notice of my Tots100 score again.

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