Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Would I cope with two?

Last Friday night Nath and I had our hands full, our 8 month old nephew Cole came to stay for the first time. I can't deny that I was slightly nervous, Cole has never stayed over before, is currently teething and is a light sleeper. Would he be inconsolable in the night with his teeth? Would he sleep through the night? Would he sleep at all? Would anyone sleep?!

My sister-in-law has always been amazing with Ava, she's one of Ava's favourite people and Nath and I wanted to return the favour with Cole. I guess this was kind of a test run for myself, a faint idea of what life would be like with two children. Like any mother I often doubt my capabilities, I'm not a very patient person and do sometimes let things get on top of me, I struggled with baby blues following Ava's birth and am not someone who copes well with little to no sleep. I do wonder whether having another baby would put added pressure on our family, we're very lucky that Ava is a- most of the time- very well behaved little girl. She sleeps well, generally does as she's told and is polite and kind. What if we have another and it's a monster who doesn't sleep and behaves terribly?! I worry that the dynamics of our happy family would be put into jeopardy.

On the flip side, I'm broody as anything. I crave newborn cuddles and soft babygros. I've had two brothers and growing up we were very close. I want that for Ava. I want someone that she can share memories with, someone to play with, a friend for life. She adores Cole and has always been fantastic with him, I know she'd be a wonderful big sister.

But would I cope? Would I love another as much as I love my little girl?

Despite my worries Friday night went brilliantly. Cole was lovely and he was full of smiles for me in the morning (I'm sure he would have slept past 6am had Ava not woken him up). I think having a trial with two has made my mind up in a way. I knew I always wanted more than one baby but now I'm sure.

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