Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Don't make me feel stupid for being afraid




I don't usually write about the news or any controversial issues on my blog, I like to keep things light, but unfortunately there was no ignoring the terrible news over the weekend and I just had to write about it.

Having lived in France for most of my childhood it's a place that I hold very close to my heart and I was completely devastated to hear about the terrorist attacks. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the rest of the world, as many people are stating on social media that the focus has solely been on France when it's been happening all over, but to be honest I think that this has affected us so much as this is right on our doorstep, and it's scary!

I for one have been constantly checking the news, forever refreshing my browser like a woman possessed, looking for updates & new developments, because well, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it will start happening here, my home, which in my heart I know that it's bound to, it's pretty much inevitable. But what has shocked me are the attitudes of some people, I've almost felt reluctant to tell people about my fears as it's sometimes met with sneers and is brushed off with a "oh well it's obviously going to happen here, don't let it stop you from living your life." As a mother don't I have a right to be afraid?  To fear for mine & my family's safety and to question the world in which I'm bringing up my daughter in?

I can understand what they're saying and I know to those who potentially have no children and who don't understand, that I sound neurotic but I shouldn't be made to feel stupid or weak because I'm scared. At the end of November we always head to my mum's in Milton Keynes and have a day in London, visiting tourist attractions and ending up at Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland. I've always looked forward to our trip but this year is obviously different. Being a self-confessed country bumpkin,  London makes me nervous at the best of times but I think that this year my anxiety would be through the roof. I've told Nath that I don't want to go but I'm happy to play it by ear for the time being. As much as I don't want my fear to get the better of me and I don't want them to win, I know that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it and would be on edge all day.

I have over a week to change my mind yet but we may be making alternative arrangements.

What are your thoughts?
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